Professionalism is a mask we wear on top of our everyday personality, and is really a layer of formality through which our expertise is brought to the fore.  The formality we express depends on the specific situation we’re in in any given moment.

That does not mean that professional interactions are impersonal. To the contrary, everything is personal.  Whether it’s an encounter between a boss and employee or a customer service rep with a customer, every interaction begins and ends with the people underneath the mask of professionalism.

It is obviously possible to drop this mask.  Indeed, we usually dispense with it entirely during, for example, a gathering of friends.  There are also times when the personal peeks through the mask while we’re wearing it.  I would even say this is required, as it helps build a strong rapport between employees, employees and customers, etc.  While we may appreciate and admire the professional, it’s the person underneath we connect with.

The pleasant times when the mask can slip are pretty easy to handle.  A coworker announces they’ve gotten engaged, or a customer calls to praise an employee – this is exactly when you want to let your mask slip a little.

It’s during the unpleasant times when you absolutely must keep the mask in place.  A customer calls to complain and starts yelling at an employee.  A boss jumps right to the threat of termination at the first sign of unwanted behavior from an employee.  Taking off your mask like this is not merely unprofessional, it demonstrates a complete lack of respect for the person you’re dealing with.  This is not something you want to do if you expect to have a continued relationship with the other person: The customer will have a bad reputation among the employees at that company, and the boss will become known as a tyrant.

Would you respect or want to do business with someone who demonstrated such behavior?

Your mask sets the tone of your reputation. Wear it well.